(via mommy)

when I die Jesus is going to give me a high five and say “I hate to do this but ur going to hell” and I’ll be like “it’s good I know”

(via sugarplumbiscuit)

'just you and me against the world' more like 'just you and me against a wall' am i right

(via sugarplumbiscuit)

How to kill someone;
Hold their hand and then never touch their skin again,
See them nearly everyday and pretend they don’t exist,
Act like everything you ever said to them was a lie.

Was this your plan all along? (via cigerettes)

(via sugarplumbiscuit)

guy:

tell someone to look and they’ll ignore you. but tell someone not to look and they’ll turn their head faster than it takes a straight white boy to ask for nudes during 21 questions

(via sugarplumbiscuit)

If you cum and she doesn’t…you didn’t fuck her, she fucked you.

pizzayeezus:

if your hands are ever cold just know that you can always put them down my pants

(via sugarplumbiscuit)

pizzayeezus:

Make me food and I’ll make you cum

(via sugarplumbiscuit)

magical-tomato-chan:

friendly reminder that you don’t owe your mom kindness and love if she hasn’t shown you any, and that family members don’t automatically deserve all your respect if they treat you badly. don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about how your parents treat you.

(via sugarplumbiscuit)

A blowjob isn’t given with your mouth, it’s given with your heart

My boyfriend trying to get head (via bitchesaloud)

(via sugarplumbiscuit)

betterwhenaked:

this is literally the best pick up line on a tshirt i’ve ever seen

(via call-me-senpaii)

if u unfollow me because i reblog too much porn, then you’re lost bby

thecraziethewizard:

Coachella
by Jeremiah Probodanu

(via ruayeda)